Result Reveler Gifts

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

'My feet are killing me.'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Theorbo

Joust Sharpener

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

You're the olive in my martini

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

Nuclear Fusion Reactor - Our Founder.

Vitruvian Manatee

"If we didn't send them out to recess after lunch, they wouldn't be full of solar energy all afternoon."

Jenga!!!

Galileo drops ball from Pisa and it goes up.

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

My own museum.

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

You ARE entitled to return a meal...But NOT after you've eaten it!!

Paterfamilias prefers his own bedroom (which the whitewashers have just left) to the discomfort of an hotel.

Health & Safety Official Tester.

'You haven't changed a bit Perkins.'

'It's an old football injury.'

"I didn't think you'd make it through biology."

Building getting a new coat fitted

Noel Fever

Affordable Cartoon Act

'Don't worry - I've found The Cure.'

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

Two inebriated friends meet, one says: 'Hello, I've not seen you since you were this high.'

"And the crowd goes wild!! In all the wrongs ways."

I think we're alone now!

"Fresh sprinkles for your ice cream?"

'But this can't be what I ordered ... I know I ordered somethng I like.'