Restructuring Realist Gifts

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

World Production.

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"I hate this time of year."

"We end our Newscast with a happy story tonight."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"

Woman talking romantically whilst man talks about measuring the scullery.

'Stop complaining and be thankful we found a place for you in the restructuring!'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

'They had a sale on electric green.'

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

"Didn't we have a door over there?"

'Management doesn't think we have a staffing problem...Apparently all we need to do is to use our imagination.'

Warning Being Alive On This Planet May Cause Cancer

"Fourteen months ago, I started with H20. I just ended with H20."

Blood is thicker than water. Oil is thicker yet.

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"It's no good, Martin, it's still in the room."

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."

"That? Oh, that's the contractor insult tax. We add that to the invoice when a customer treats us as if we're somehow constantly contriving to rip them off."