Relocation Realist Gifts

Candour.

'We have to move -- all our warranties have expired.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

The fate of the emigrant

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

You are here.

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'WOW! This ladies' nav app is fantastic!'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

While You Were Out: We Moved!

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

Jungle Taxi

We never roam anymore.

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Emigrating to France.

The Near Outback: Lenny and Samantha

"I found the perfect job! You don't do any work, stay at home, make funny videos, and you get full salary and benefits!!"

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"