Restoration Expert Gifts

Leaning Tower of Pisa

Dept. of Antiquities

Maid

'I found the termites!'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Under New Mismanagement

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

'They did a great job in restoring all the 19th century details, but this confounded dress code...'

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

'This guy's FAST!'

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

"I told you she'd had some work done."

'I was interested to see that you're living in a complete pigsty. Ours isn't quite finished yet.'

Japan-Reconstruction

'Pardon the dust. We're remodeling.'

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

"It's just a hunch, but you may have the power set too high on your pressure washer."

Painting Mona Lisa.

'I forgot to close the door?...Seriously? Who puts a door on a hole?'

Straightening up.

Statue Restoration.

Painter gets stuck in the middle of a room