Restoration Expert Gifts

Leaning Tower of Pisa

Dept. of Antiquities

Maid

'I found the termites!'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

"He's a hunter-gatherer-tinkerer-fixer-upper-restorer-reseller."

'They did a great job in restoring all the 19th century details, but this confounded dress code...'

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

Under New Mismanagement

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

'This guy's FAST!'

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

"I told you she'd had some work done."

'I was interested to see that you're living in a complete pigsty. Ours isn't quite finished yet.'

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Fed up in Flint," you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I bought a dirt-cheap house in Flint, hoping to rent it out. I had it renovated, and then the day before our open-house, someone broke in and stole all our plumbing. So what?! In my day, nobody had plumbing! We did our business in a ditch down by the river and we were glad about it! List it as "vintage Americana" and quit yer complainin'! But they took the roof, too. In my day, a roof

Salvage Hunters

"It's just a hunch, but you may have the power set too high on your pressure washer."

Japan-Reconstruction

'Pardon the dust. We're remodeling.'

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

Painting Mona Lisa.

'I forgot to close the door?...Seriously? Who puts a door on a hole?'