Restaurant Review Aficionados Gifts

"Waiter! Waiter! There's no flies in my soup!"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'A cheeky red?'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

La Table

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Your lobster was off!

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

Advanced footsie

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'It's my favorite.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'