Restaurant Pun Fan Gifts

Central Reservations Available.

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Laughing Zone Ahead

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

Cupid misses his shot.

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

"You need a mint."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

"The deal looks cut and dried to me but Haskins smells a rat."

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

Arm Chair

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

Unsound

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

"Do you know what time they open love?"

Wordilly Durdillies - A cow putt

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

"And you say these stabbing back pains started when you got into politics?"

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

"Okay - I can see you now."