Restaurant Hunter Gifts

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'A cheeky red?'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

La Table

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Duck Hunt

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'