Restaurant Hunter T-Shirts

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'A cheeky red?'

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

La Table

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."