Restaurant Goers Who Love Jokes Pillows

'This place is a tip.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

Do-it-yourself sushi bar serves live fish to customer.

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'd like to order, please.' - 'Okay, what's your table number?' - 'I don't know.' - 'Find it, weak-minded fool!!' - 'What's our table number?' - 'There is no table number.' - 'There is no table number.' - 'You should have been assigned a table number whe

AS about Today's Specials' - 'Whatever didn't sell yesterday.'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"What fly?"

"You're in luck. A slot for you just opened up in our kitchen."

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

'Have a little patience, Sir - We're not machines...'

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

'Too much information! I prefer not knowing my lobster's name was Sigmund.'

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

'I'll be talking nonsense when you come to take our order. But, if you pretend I'm speaking French there'll be a big tip in it for you.'

Hugo's in a peevish mood today, I'd finish that broccoli if I were you

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

"The Catch of the Day is the chef's cold."

'Waiter, there're four flies in my soup! How 'bout just moving the bug zapper?'

"This is cold. I specifically ordered the Warm and Fuzzy."

Waiter, there's a fly drowning in my soup. Try mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.