Restaurant Escapist Gifts

"Can I start you off with my disappearance?"

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Workaholic on holiday

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"Lisa, bring out the Alistair Cheng files and an iced mochaccino, if you will, please."

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

Clock watcher

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

'When I wake up, remind me to give you a few tips on how to make your presentations a little more dynamic.'

A usual day.

"You're in cubicle 1,962. If you get lost in there, I'll send a drone in to guide you."

"Tell me about the sunshine, George."