Fine Dining Escapist Gifts

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Bo're'droom

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

'How was the squid?'

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersize in a bucket?"

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Can I start you off with my disappearance?"

"Going early was a good idea. So was bringing our own bottle of wine, While we're on the subject, so was the wheel."

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"I'm skipping that movie and waiting for the theme park ride."

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

Surgery / Canteen - The perplexities of priorites.

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"

"Will the gentleman want the saumon poché with or without his initials?"

It's the dinner I didn't make. It's kind of a Zen Thing

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

A giveaway tan line...

"If we were still in the city we wouldn't appreciate this as much."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"I only eat food that looks expensive."