Resolution Repeater Gifts

'Our 'Resolution Membership' is a no-obligation contract, complete with unscheduled workouts and spotty routines that fit anyone with weak, annual ambitions.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

"Here's a little song I wrote after hearing it on the radio."

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

'If you want to see my resume, it's on my cave wall.'

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"I'm delegating my New Years Resolutions, you'll be running a marathon in July!"

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

'At midnight we want to move to the non-smoking section so my husband can keep his New Year's resolution.'

'Oh no! Not 'Barnacle Bill the Sailor', again.'

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

Holidays are Here, Think!

'Remember - don't make any New Years resolutions for me!'

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

"That was fun- we should do New Year's more often."

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."

"I'm starting my diet today."

"On second thought, could I honestly handle this big of a lifestyle change?"

"I made a note of your New Year's resolutions"

"Okay, I'm growing weary of the rose bowl parade. I think it's time to jettison Al Roker."

My New Year's resolution? To no longer suffer in silence. I will moan, whimper, and complain until you resolve to get the heater fixed.