Resolution Passer Gifts

"I'm delegating my New Years Resolutions, you'll be running a marathon in July!"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

Good intentions last a month on average

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"I feel like all I did in January was work out, eat healthy, strive for meaningful and balanced relationships, and improve my sleep schedule -- thank god that nightmare's over."