Resolution Chaser Gifts

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

The Salesman

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

Breakthrough

Mohamed Salah

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Men can show their emotions!

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"We have a goal wrapped in a plan, and served on a bed of success."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

Bucket List

Professional football.

Chasing Covid Variants

Success

Discomfort zone.

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

If it makes you fell any better, I had to make seven New Year's resolutions, and I'm sure I'll break every last one. Ice cream.

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

Good intentions last a month on average