Resolution Maestro Gifts

"I'm still not quite happy with it...The aspirations are clear but there still seems to be too much flexibility around the targets."

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

"I can't solve for X. I have a fear of the unknown!"

New Fads For The Handlebar Mustache

Computer Music

"This is my man cave."

"We can't agree on a size."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

'Where are the kids?'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'You should enter the rhythmic breathing Olympics!'

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

Nest building

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

Great ... Thanks to your "calendar" invention, now I have to think of a New Year's resolution.

Workers rest

Fifty ways to style your nasal hair.

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"