Resilient Job Hunters Gifts

Resume Dumpers

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

'University of Xylongatnyefxodyl - never heard of it!'

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

'You're overqualified... so you'll have to act stupid.!

'The resume is handwritten because I am not very good with computers' - The LAST thing you should say in ANY job interview.

"Get another job? I can't! My breed can only be faithful to one master in a lifetime!"

City Dump: Resumes.

On paper, all applicants were very impressive. . . but clearly some were more experienced than others!

Careers Advice

"You get two weeks of vacation, seven sick days and you can play dead twice yearly."

We don't have any vacancies for people to 'pierce the heart of a virtuous maid with the arrow of desire'...have you thought of about working in a call center?

'I remember you. Were you laid off from this company last month?'

What sort of job are you after?

"When I said to make yourself comfortable..."

"What quality do you have, that will make us hire you as our new telephone support employee?"

"Interesting CV, we haven't had anyone with a qualification in 'being really good at stuff' before."

"I'm not supposed to say anything, but you really aced this round of the interview process."

'Regarding salary requirements...just how huge is your student debt?'

'I looked forward to retirement. Now, thanks to the economy, I'm looking at re-hirement.'

' I believe you'd both make fine additions to Nationwide Mobile Phone Technologies, so I'm leaving it up to whose ringtone I like better.'

'The McGruder corporation is going down the tube. They just fired me.'

'What's your threshold of pain when it comes to salary and benefits?'

'A crane fell on your office while you were out, sir. I've been sent back to the steno pool and you've been asked to look for another job.'