Reservation Wrangler Gifts

Modern Native American Names

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

High Riders of the Old West

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

'Did you want me, boss?'

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

'How do you do it? I keep coming up with six.'

That's it...It's official. It's now an art installation!

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

Sometimes Colin found it difficult to get back into the office routine.

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

'It's not a bad place to work - if you can stand the routine.'

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

"I'd like to make a supper reservation for 12 disciples + 1, and could you put us at a table big enough so we can all sit on one side."

Okay, now we've got a quorum!

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

"Dad, if you don't know the answer to this algebra question...just say so."

Sales Clerk tricks woman into an instant merchandise exchange.

"Here, I'll call the credit department for you...you might wanna push 'seven' on here."