Research Adventurer Gifts

'Dr. Sykes is very important is scientific circles. We believe he may be the missing link.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

Now showing, at a University near you...

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

'You did help Junior with his science project.'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

"We thought this was more realistic."

"Where are redactions when you need them?"

"'What I wanted to do, but could not, during my socially-distanced summer vacation this year'..."

"What's your occupation?"

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'