Reputation Guardians Pillows

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Lovers' leap with chaperone observation point.

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

"Let's face it Mum, the main reason we're an endangered species is that we're fussy eaters..."

"I mind my mother, eat my broccoli and do my homework, but you won't tell the guys, will you?"

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

You can have your privacy back, as soon as I've finished showing it to everyone

'I've stopped getting bright ideas.'

"Our founders built this company on a certain set of principles. But since they're all dead and nobody wrote anything down, looks like we're screwed."

Human rights fish is eaten by a shark.

"I used to be known as Mr. Nice Guy, but I bought my way out."

"But is it Organic?"

"Let me guess... Military, right?"

If the British had been the first to see the Grand Canyon.

Make a careful study of these creatures and use every means to combat them...

"I'm sorry, but I can't hire you. I typed your name in on a search engine, and lazy, selfish, and unmotivated were the categories that came up."

'Promise me one thing, Lorraine... you won't tell my friends we met at a church picnic?'

Church Zone - Thou Shalt Not Speed.

"Proud parent of an honor student? Eh, whatever. Parent of an honorable student? Now that would be impressive."

"He intends to die with dignity. He desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

Consumption vs. Strategy.

Memorial Day

The AdRams Family no.14 - Filtering the internet for kids

"You know, it's guys like you that give guys like me a bad name!"

Do Not Cross the Vatican

Ernie McKelvey, moments before his life is touched by scandal.