Reptiles Pillows

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

'Are you alright? You seem tense...'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Rattlesnakes telling a snake holding a rattle - "For the last time. No!"

'It looks like reptile dysfunction'

A Cobra with prosthetic fangs.

Snake, typing letter.

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'Oh, you guys!'

'And I think you'll be very impressed with the new network security system we just installed!'

'Let's use another form of birth control. I don't like the coil.'

Mum, remember you said I could have a pet...

'Be careful opening this...it's marked dangerous goods.'

Chameleon 'Hide and Seek'...

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

'Oh, nuts! I locked the keys in the car!'

'Use this in both eyes, three times daily.'

'I was hoping you could recommend a good chiropractor.'

Snake Blogging

'I'm not going out looking like this - I need a new skin.'

"To be fair, Martha, you started it."

Dyslexic reptiles - "see you later crocodile" / "In a while alligator".

"Now then, were you driven out of Ireland by religious, political or economic pressures?"

Iguana in zoo licking someones ice cream.

'Strangest turtle I ever saw!'

A snake bites his lip - 'I hope I'm not poisonous, I just bit my lip!'

'Hey stranger: Are you a squeezy-type or a bity-type?'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'Something's come up that isn't covered in the security guard's handbook.'

Snake leaving bowling alley with bowler and ball.

For the last time, Mr. Clooney - That's not what we do here.

"Dude, you're supposed to break the whole egg off not just stick your legs out."

Snake leaving Bowling Alley.

"Somebody's got spring fever."

'He was only ninety three.'