Reptile Lifers Gifts

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'Play it again, Sam.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

Crocodile

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

Danth battle?

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

The Stripper

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

Snake Eyes

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

The Monitor is going to sleep.

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'