Representative Pillows

'Meet Your New Representative.'

His integrity is beyond reproach. He really believes his lies.

"Responsibility? Me? Don't be silly. I'm a politician!"

"Actually, my political philosophy is pretty simple: 'Practice Random Gridlock and Senseless Acts of Partisanship!'"

How To Spot A Politician

"It's very kind of you to offer but why on earth would I need an agent?"

"Mr. Speaker, I would like to request an additional thirty seconds to approach my esteemed colleague from across the aisle and punch him the face."

'And a very merry Christmas to you...'

"In order to be a better mirror of society, we feel parliament should have more overweight female members with a wardrobe deficiency."

I'm not a cold caller - I'm a bloody freezing caller!

'I don't care if there isn't a Premiership football club in Grimsby, that's where you've been transferred to!'

'How do I get to the House of Representatives?' 'Just follow the straight and narrow till election day, and then veer sharply left.'

It's great fun spending your tax dollars!: 'He's getting WAY overconfident!'

Just a friendly gift.

"Your constituents send their greetings Senator. Seems I'm to grant their wishes to send you home today!"

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

'Remember, you can't please everyone in this world...especially when you're pandering to your base.'

'Therapy in L.A.'

Politician: 'I lie to my constituants only when it's in their best interest.'

John Lewis

Congressional Gym. I never need to go in there. I get plenty of exercise kicking the can down the road.

"Babar goes to Congress"

"Smart stuff, Chip, but wise up and dumb it down."

Will Rep For Food

"I consider myself bipartisan-curious."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Imagining a Better World Isn't Really That Hard

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

I love Lawyers

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'