Report Revelers Gifts

The stockholders love our annual report! Scratch and sniff our bottom line and it smells like money!

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

"'Fried Ham' on 3..."

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"If we didn't send them out to recess after lunch, they wouldn't be full of solar energy all afternoon."

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

When I make it, I like to see it.

'Damn early birds.'

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

Hedge funds make billions from short selling Coronavirus stocks.

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

"It's great that you both enjoy live music, but who are you and how did you get in our garage?"

'Donna has been taking FENG SHUI classes.'

'What'd ya' think the Pope was gonna do in retirement?'

"This is our successful 'Flat Broke Bum' designer suit. Lots of investment bankers and car plant CEO's ordered it!"

"Anybody fancy getting drunk and photocopying our bottoms."

Things-could-be-worse-go-round

"So, you plan to publish your findings?"

Dionysus

'...winning coxless four...'

A Book Review of the Phone Book: A hefty paperback with too many characters and not enough plot development. Next week, we'll review a more complex work--your phone bill.

'Your report is eight pages too long.'

A shopping couple commenting on the store staff at a team brief session.

"Oh, nothing too exciting, Donna. I burned the toast last Wednesday, and on Saturday Jim split an infinitive. What's new with you?"

Readaholics Anonymous

Dinner at the Palace

"Guys, seriously, some myrrh? Next time let's not wait till the last minute as usual to make gifts!"

'Let's see what we can get for these gold stars!'

Handymen in Hell: 'Now this place is a real fixer-upper...of course, we don't allow hat sort of thing here.'