Royalty Revelers Gifts

Dinner at the Palace

Theorbo

"She wishes to range free!"

Joust Sharpener

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"'Fried Ham' on 3..."

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"I say we move on to dessert."

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"She leaked WHAT to the press?"

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

Vitruvian Manatee

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

When I make it, I like to see it.

Galileo drops ball from Pisa and it goes up.

'I invested in a completely new economic system for the country, but the instructions are in japanese.'

'I have libertarian impulses.'

'That was your great-uncle Ludwig -- he was voted out of Europe.'

'I found it on Craig's List.'

"Woulda looked cool with a beer in his hand, though." Michelangelo's cousin, Michelobelo

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'Look, that peasant is eating something -- the economy's on the move again!'