Report Perfectionist Pillows

'Yes Sir, I finished the report two days ago - I'm just trying to decide on what font to use.'

"I can't find anything wrong with your report…keep rewriting it until I can."

'Well, Ken, unfortunately 'close enough' won't do on this report.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

D.I.Y

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

Lessons from the Blakely Art School (Now Defunct)

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Perfection

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

"You're welcome."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"Page 33, line 4..."

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"If you had $1,000, and I asked you for a loan of $23.47, what percent of your original money would you left?"

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.