Reflection Perfectionist Pillows

'I hate bad hair days!'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"The overthinker"

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"It's going over the top? D' you realise what you've just said?"

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Writer

Perfection

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Lessons from the Blakely Art School (Now Defunct)

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

Poetry repairman

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"This painting will make you so famous that you won't be able to walk down the street without being recognised."

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"You're welcome."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

Santa's Out Tray.

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Man tries reaching for the Sun's reflection thinking it is a ball.

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."