Report Card Romantic Gifts

"I found a way to turn my old report cards into fine art."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"Just tell your parents you made the grade. Don't specify."

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

The Music Lover.

Investments: Call us hopeless romantics for still believing money can make you happy!

'Doctor Corazon, I'm in love with you. You make my right ventricle go pitter-patter.'

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

'Of all the people I know, I like running with you the best Angela.'

"I haven't had smouldering, passionate sex for a while....could you put it in the diary for next week!"

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"Your school report is brilliant! It's going straight into the fireproof box for safe keeping..."

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

"So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?"

"You again, Paul?! Hey, you must know this ceremony inside out!"

'Be advised the information herein may not be current and is subject to change. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results.'

Surgeon gives nurse heart, saying, Will you be my valentine?

'I'm the smartest one in the bottom group.'

'...assuming the numbers are right, ask her to marry you.'

'I got an 'A' in abstinence.'

Parent/Teacher conjugation

"...get in there and make my post docs fall in love with their research."

"Very impressive. Leave it with me. Mommy will get back to you by the week."

"Could you give me another minute? I'm not sure who's paying yet."

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"My teacher forgot to congratulate me on my great math grade. She was too busy calling Ripley's Believe It Or Not."

"Depending on how the next election plays out, we either get married at the botanical gardens or flee the country."

"Why do I always have to get the cheese?"

"But grades aren't the only way to measure learning outcomes."

"There is no complaint department, Robert."