Repeat Performance Artist Gifts

Obsessive Compulsive Support Group: 'You check the tea bags, again, I'll check the biscuits, again.'

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Extreme miming"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

In, out, shake it all about.

May all your birthday wishes come true..

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Interpretive napping

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"

Double Saxophone

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Elvis Presley

Treading a fine lion.

"The museum of modern art on fire... an installation."

Performance In The Bedroom

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

Their father would frequently have to barge in and pantomime to his kids that they were not being quiet enough as they pantomimed actual noisy children.

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

Funding Cuts for the Arts

"They're texting it in."

"Can you just once get to the damn point without the usual embellishments?"

Welcome to the wonderful world of abstract mime.

Pottery Slam

Mime Flash Mobs.

"When the boss says jump, I say how high."

'The actors guild suspended my membership.'

"And to think I always thought you walked with an ominous elegance like Henry Fonda."

Actor talking to unimpressed child

'I need you to start thinking outside the imaginary box.'