Rental Reviewers Gifts

"Airbnb?"

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

"When we're not hibernating, I've gone ahead and listed our cave as an Airbnb."

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"Sorry son, I rented out your room to backpackers on Airbnb."

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

The vacation rental agency is saying technically that's a "lap pool," so we can't get our money back.

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

Airport Terminal. Rental Cars. That self-driving vehicle is waiting for us to go first. It's a courtesy van!

"Have you tried Trip Advisor?"

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

"Looks like rent-a-mob's arrived."

"Well, thank God it's not the plumbing! Let's run down town, drop off a check and sign that lease!!"

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

"Considering the rental market, this property offers a fantastic view, and they'll drop the restrictions."

"Just to let you know - we're putting up your rent again..."

"Look! It's the Buy-to-let brigade."

"The flat I rented from you is a pig-sty!"

"Thank goodness I'm only renting."

Inside Airbnb

"The fact is I don't know a single damn story about any of them. I just rent the place furnished."

"Of course, it's hard to tell what a place really looks like without furniture."

Yeah, once again, Mistress missed out on getting the rental property she wanted. The usual issue: no pets allowed...

'No love, the public haven't voted you out. You haven't paid your rent.'

'Damp? The bath's got a ring round its OUTSIDE!'

'If renting is so expensive, why not move back in which your parents?'

Renting is so expensive these days. Why don't you move back with your parents? Good idea, except...they're still living with their parents.

"...and there's a $30 monthly balloon animal pet fee."

"It'll have to be your place. I Airbnb'd myself out of my apartment tonight."

"More federal aid for lazy, shiftless renters. . . ? No thanks!!"

Does your building allow dogs? No. Ironically, it does allow mice.