Renovation Wiz Gifts

"No, you still look fat."

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Non-Drip ?

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"Mulch madness"

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

A cock up of builders

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

Witch Hardware

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"We can't agree on our kitchen redesign."

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"