Renovation Rookie Gifts

"When does the improvement part of this improvement project kick in?"

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'I know it's hard to believe, but before this, I'd never built a thing!'

Bathroom DIY

"Do me a favor. . . stick to changing the wallpaper that's on your computer."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

'I found the termites!'

Non-Drip ?

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

DIY enthusiasts find a time portal behind their old wallpaper

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"

Witch Hardware

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"We can't agree on our kitchen redesign."