Home Renovation Warrior Gifts

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

"When I bought, they called it a fixer-upper. After ten years and $175,000 worth of renovations, it's now called a tear-down."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Painting the Ceiling

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'I found the termites!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"You're welcome."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

A holiday at home

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."