Renovation Reluctants Gifts

Pulling a Sickie.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

DIY enthusiasts find a time portal behind their old wallpaper

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

'Mary, I believe in historic preservation, too, but ... '

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"

The Old Woman was thrilled to bits with her shoestring budget makeover!!

"We can't agree on our kitchen redesign."

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

Witch Hardware

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

"Our hobby is finding old, run-down Victorian houses and levelling them."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

A cock up of builders

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...