Home Renovation Skeptic Gifts

I think the home improvement shows are officially out of ideas

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'I found the termites!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"You're welcome."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"I think I picked the wrong spot to plant that apple tree."

School of Art & Design. Looks like they're putting up an addition.

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'