René Descartes Fan Gifts

"I stink... therefore, I am."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"A votre sante!"

Eugene Ionesco

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

'I'll be talking gibberish to you in a moment. There's a big tip in it for you, if you pretend I'm speaking French.'

"I don't get it. I only had a couple of beers in the pub last night, but I've got a splitting headache this morning."

Police Box

'Can you tell me the nationality of Napoleon?'

'I think he's been doped by the rival team.'

'Ma, have you been reading my textbook?'

'Hey Dad, we learned to speak French at school today, listen: Cocorico!'

'It's the French Government - they want us to return all the words we borrowed from their language.'

'We may not look like much, but the French accent works wonders with the ladies...'

Cowboy Darts board: 'DRAW!'

'You have no pension. Have you thought about running a pension in France?'

Action Re-Drink

"The good news is that our head chef is very kind and gentle to women..."

Is there a Doctor of Philosophy in the house?

The Order for War is Given by Picrochole. (Rabelais).

The bad news is that it can't be removed, Mr. Fusco. But the good news is that it's by far the best Ernest Borgnine tattoo I've ever seen. ! !

'He's rubbish at darts!'

'Are my feet anywhere near the oche yet?'

"I shop therefore I am!"

Somewhere in France: The visitors are stunned by a series of trilled R's.

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."

My mum likes watching costume dramas.

The son of Gargantua, Pantagruel, has been fed by the milk of 4,000 cows (Rabelais).

The online language course got off to a good start...

Dog dreaming of dog can can dancers.

Sartre didn't have it quite right - hell is actually other epidemiologists.

French Colour Chart

'He's been doped by the rival team.' Playing darts.

'Pret a manger' 'Pret a coucher'