René Descartes Fan Gifts

"I stink... therefore, I am."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"A votre sante!"

Eugene Ionesco

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

"I don't get it. I only had a couple of beers in the pub last night, but I've got a splitting headache this morning."

'I'll be talking gibberish to you in a moment. There's a big tip in it for you, if you pretend I'm speaking French.'

'Can you tell me the nationality of Napoleon?'

'I think he's been doped by the rival team.'

'Ma, have you been reading my textbook?'

'Hey Dad, we learned to speak French at school today, listen: Cocorico!'

'It's the French Government - they want us to return all the words we borrowed from their language.'

Cowboy Darts board: 'DRAW!'

'We may not look like much, but the French accent works wonders with the ladies...'

'You have no pension. Have you thought about running a pension in France?'

"The good news is that our head chef is very kind and gentle to women..."

Action Re-Drink

Is there a Doctor of Philosophy in the house?

'Are my feet anywhere near the oche yet?'

"I shop therefore I am!"

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."

Somewhere in France: The visitors are stunned by a series of trilled R's.

My mum likes watching costume dramas.

The Order for War is Given by Picrochole. (Rabelais).

'He's rubbish at darts!'

The son of Gargantua, Pantagruel, has been fed by the milk of 4,000 cows (Rabelais).

The online language course got off to a good start...

Dog dreaming of dog can can dancers.

Sartre didn't have it quite right - hell is actually other epidemiologists.

French Colour Chart

"Fer 'Lack of participation' in French class. You?"

'He's been doped by the rival team.' Playing darts.

'Pret a manger' 'Pret a coucher'