Remote Destinations Gifts

"We'd like somewhere remote, off the tourist path, somewhere fresh and undiscovered. . . but with excellent wifi."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

Desert wifi

In and Out tray filled with messages in bottles on a manned desk on a desert Island

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

The Remote Olympics

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

"I know you wanted to go to Paris, Dear, but Spitzbergen has a GREAT exchange rate!"

'Scenic route?'

Flying Doctor and the Second Opinion

Pop-up neighborhood

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

"Can I see your license Sir?"

"Promise me if I get amorous you'll push me in?"

'I said I would agree to work remotely, but this is a bit too much.'

'Let me know if you want me to adjust the webcam.'

"You didn't tell anyone that we're going to Israel did you?"

"Anybody fancy getting drunk and photocopying our bottoms."

'Listen to this Ted. It says here that one of the first signs of insanity is talking to inanimate objects.'

"I can count on one hand the number of times I've been to Chernobyl."

Random things I miss: Deciding on a holiday

If there were one place on earth you'd never visit, where would that be, Randy? Easy: That would be McMurdo Station, Antarctica, little buddy. Nothing encourages hot snuggling more than being marooned in an icy wasteland. That would be a total waste of my skills of seduction. No challenge. I'd never visit the Mariana Trench. People don't live anywhere near there, and it's the deepest spot in the ocean ... so there'd be no wifi and not even satellite internet could reach it. We should have our ow

"Can you suggest some place where the dollar goes far but they don't want to kill us?"

'The inspectors will never find us here!'

"We'd like 5 star accommodation but with some interesting poverty nearby."

'Secretly, I'm in love with New Jersey.'

Desert - Crawler Lane.

"So where are you off to today Wanda?"

Digital emigrant

"It's nice having the option to work from home."

"Let's go back to 'Bon voyage,' Collins, and drop 'You're a brave man.'"