Remote Control Referee Gifts

'I don't mind you being on the furniture, but go for the remote one more time...'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

TV-Man

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

Penguin Remote

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'This is not what I meant by a free kick.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'Now what?!'

'Are you blind ref?'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'