Reluctant Vacationer Gifts

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"Yes, it is true! I've finally persuaded Derek to take a holiday."

"Make a sandcastle with you? Of course darling. What about Thursday 3.15pm?"

"Endless Summer III"

The US election is over.

'Sure, sure - I'm having a great vacation.'

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

'Why are you still sitting here, dear? This is a tropical getaway. It means, get away!'

"You know your problem, Monte? There's more to life than always checking how your stocks are doing."

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Climate change

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

"I'd rather be at the office."

"My husband won't do Florida - too sunny. He's afraid of falling asleep on the beach and waking up 75-years-old."

Airline concerns.

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

I just don't trust those self-flying brooms yet.

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

Brian, I hope you're prepared for the conference in Hawaii. You bet!

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

Last day of home school.

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

'Ah! This is the life...' - 'No phones. No computers. No hassle.' - 'All I have to do is lie out in the sun...' - '...and fret endlessly about skin cancer.'

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

"Oh, how I ...give me a push... hate Mondays."

Travel Agents - Water, water, anywhere with water.

Stanley Middleton

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

"I wish you wouldn't take your enjoyment so hard, Ed."

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

"No need to rush back to work. The office lad is doing your job."

Man fishing with rod with multiple lines.