Reluctant Skier Gifts

"No, I'm not interested in a free ski weekend. Please take me off your call list."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"Make a sandcastle with you? Of course darling. What about Thursday 3.15pm?"

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

'Sure, sure - I'm having a great vacation.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'How's the water, dear?'

The Boys of Indian Summer

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

The US election is over.

'Why are you still sitting here, dear? This is a tropical getaway. It means, get away!'

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

"Endless Summer III"

'It's almost time to get the cross-country skis out and dust them off.'

'He's a true athlete... tennis elbow, jogger's feet, and skier's knees.'

'I must confess I admire people like you...Executives brave enough to say 'No I need a holiday.' I don't care if my clients look elsewhere, I'm not going to sacrifice my leisure time to climb the slippery pole to the very top...'

T-Rex Ski Jump Fail

'Well you were warned about the dangers of sedentary lifestyle.'

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"You know your problem, Monte? There's more to life than always checking how your stocks are doing."

"Yes, it is true! I've finally persuaded Derek to take a holiday."

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

'He stated jogging to work.'

What would it take to get you to start running? Frankly, doctor, it would take someone chasing me.

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

'Not Andy. He'd rather do anything than go on the family vacation.'

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."