Reluctant Climber Gifts

'I must confess I admire people like you...Executives brave enough to say 'No I need a holiday.' I don't care if my clients look elsewhere, I'm not going to sacrifice my leisure time to climb the slippery pole to the very top...'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'How's the water, dear?'

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

"How to deal with weeds."

'I'm out of bags.'

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

How to deal with weeds

'This ladder is rotten!'

Mountaineer accidentally knocks off the peak of a mountain.

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

What would it take to get you to start running? Frankly, doctor, it would take someone chasing me.

'He stated jogging to work.'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

'Ah! This is the life...' - 'No phones. No computers. No hassle.' - 'All I have to do is lie out in the sun...' - '...and fret endlessly about skin cancer.'

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

"I was celebrating Hump Day and ended up with Throw-Out-Your-Back Thursday."

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

"I wish you wouldn't take your enjoyment so hard, Ed."

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

Trying to get kids into sports

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."