Reluctant Climber Gifts

'I must confess I admire people like you...Executives brave enough to say 'No I need a holiday.' I don't care if my clients look elsewhere, I'm not going to sacrifice my leisure time to climb the slippery pole to the very top...'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

'Honestly, dear, I'm just giving my pedometer a rest.'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

'How's the water, dear?'

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

"How to deal with weeds."

'I'm out of bags.'

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

How to deal with weeds

Mountaineer accidentally knocks off the peak of a mountain.

'Derek's a big fan of resisistance workouts. He always resists working out.'

'This ladder is rotten!'

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

'He stated jogging to work.'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

"The only thing I like more than running is everything else."

'Ah! This is the life...' - 'No phones. No computers. No hassle.' - 'All I have to do is lie out in the sun...' - '...and fret endlessly about skin cancer.'

"My physical therapist says this is the worst possible position you can lie in."

"I was celebrating Hump Day and ended up with Throw-Out-Your-Back Thursday."

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

"I wish you wouldn't take your enjoyment so hard, Ed."

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

'This getting fit is killing me.'

"We just weren't compatible.Her body-clock was telling her to settle down and have kids,and mine was telling me that the pub was open."

Trying to get kids into sports