Religious Symbolism Critic Pillows

Trump with a Bible

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Bishops Snooker

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

Gates of heaven

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

'All the tellers are nuns.'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'