Religious Studies Major Pillows

Monk Graffiti

No Nails.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"The hyenas started it."

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Yes, all at once!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

The World's Biggest Book Club

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

How world war III started.

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'My husband? -- He went to the theologically-challenged place.'

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

'Wow! It didn't take long to lose that new ark smell.'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Hot cross buns

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."