Religious Satire Reader Gifts

"Amazing Graze..."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Church restrooms

Gates of heaven

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'All the tellers are nuns.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Hallelujah!"