Religious Relic Collector Pillows

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"You're on a what?!"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Posh Easter Egg

"But I use all of them!"

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

Meet the Author

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

News of the Day - Savings Bank.

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

"We only have the Bible."

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

"Carbon paper? Typewriter ribbon? An ashtray? After your retirement, have you considered opening a museum?"

"OK, Thomas. This is the last form of i.d. I have."

The Dead Sea Squirrels.

Leap Heir

Authentic signed Holy Grail

"What do you think of the new offering buckets Preacher?"

"I think we'll put it out as a self-help guide."

Even in retirement, Moses kept his 'chops' up.

'Buy old masters, they hold their value better than old mistresses.'

'Someday, son, this can be all yours.'

Religious Fanatic - Good prices paid for books..statues..videos...

Bishop with mitre too big to get through door.

Senior Prelate's Rail-Card

The Ascension of the Rose of Lima