Religious Relic Collector Pillows

"Get your one-of-a-kind burial cloth of Jesus!"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"You're on a what?!"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"But I use all of them!"

Meet the Author

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

Posh Easter Egg

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

News of the Day - Savings Bank.

Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors.

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

"We only have the Bible."

"Carbon paper? Typewriter ribbon? An ashtray? After your retirement, have you considered opening a museum?"

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

"OK, Thomas. This is the last form of i.d. I have."

The Dead Sea Squirrels.

Leap Heir

Authentic signed Holy Grail

"What do you think of the new offering buckets Preacher?"

Toaster: Settings are: Elvis Image - God's name - Mother Teresa

"I think we'll put it out as a self-help guide."

Even in retirement, Moses kept his 'chops' up.

'Someday, son, this can be all yours.'

'Buy old masters, they hold their value better than old mistresses.'

Religious Fanatic - Good prices paid for books..statues..videos...

Bishop with mitre too big to get through door.

The Ascension of the Rose of Lima

"Wings that don't work! Harps that don't play! Are you sure this isn't Hell?"