Religious Freedom Gifts

'I don't want to wear that, Mom!'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Carefree luggage.

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"We only got six days of funding."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Moses separating his Laundry.

Moses on the web

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'