Religious Figures Pillows

Nun doing the vacuuming, "It's a spiritual vacuum."

"For your penance, text me 400 Hail Marys."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Vlad the Impala

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

God Sneezes Out Creation

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Golfing Bishop.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"All we have left is standing room only."

At the 2021 Religious Games

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Barack Obama's To Do list.

Priest

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

Ten Commandments

Monk Prompt

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'