Religious Critique Gifts

"Any church that requires a fire hydrant is admitting it's a fraud."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

Bishops Snooker

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

Church restrooms

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

The Pope

Worst. God. Ever.

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

A Man of Faith

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

"Pastor, since you refuse to respond to my emails I decided to print off a list of all my objections to your messages."

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"It was a little preachy."

"'Host' and Cheese?"