Religion Wanderers Gifts

Copyright 1340 B.C. God (Moses)

'Not that net!'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

The World's Biggest Book Club

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

"What did Jesus order?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

The ecumenical dinner party.

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

'I'm an atheist!'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"What now?" Runners disturbing loggers

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

The joy of sects.

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."