Religion Trivia Buff Pillows

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Daddy...I thought you'd want to know that Danaeism has become mainstream...two words...corporate sponsorship.'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Zoology Class. Test Today. What did you get for the question about Fuzzy Wuzzy?

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Before the Internet

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"OMG, LOL!"

Dogma

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"God works in mysterious ways."

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

Quiz Night...

Switch on brain

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

"There! Isn't sipping my Tropical Surprise more fun than arguing over some ancient sports trivia?"

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Chill Out Worshippers!

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

Diagram of a dark matter halo around a saint.

'Is there a God? God knows...'