Religion And Spirituality Buff Pillows

"Try coming back tomorrow with your pants pulled up."

'My sermon's written except for the lead-ins to the commercials where I remind them they're all going straight to hell!'

"I guess this means we're going to get a taste of religion!"

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

Chill Out Worshippers!

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

Diagram of a dark matter halo around a saint.

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'What would you say if I told you there's a way to fit all of that on just one tablet?'

'Is it organic?'

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

"Did we get the line item veto?"

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

'Well now, there's a coincidence. We're Adam and Yves too!'

'It's a popular misconception, but in fact, it's always been 'cod'.'

'Do you have any coupons?'

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

Alcoholics drink alone... or with others!

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

'I warned you we'd get thrown out, changing the name from the Garden of Eden.'

"And Adam and Eve saw that they were naked, and they were ashamed."

'Make me one with everything.'

"Reverend your sermon was divine, naturally."

"Must've been a candy apple. I can't believe Adam and Eve would do us in for plain fruit."