Religion And Spirituality Buff Pillows

"Try coming back tomorrow with your pants pulled up."

The Pope

'My sermon's written except for the lead-ins to the commercials where I remind them they're all going straight to hell!'

"I guess this means we're going to get a taste of religion!"

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

Chill Out Worshippers!

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

Om and Ommer

Diagram of a dark matter halo around a saint.

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

The Pope looks through here to check out the crowd before he speaks. Ah --- The papal people peephole!

Eurovision Hymn Contest

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'What would you say if I told you there's a way to fit all of that on just one tablet?'

'Is it organic?'

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

'It's a popular misconception, but in fact, it's always been 'cod'.'

"And Adam and Eve saw that they were naked, and they were ashamed."

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

'I warned you we'd get thrown out, changing the name from the Garden of Eden.'

'Do you have any coupons?'

"Did we get the line item veto?"

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

"An apple? Doesn't he have any pizza?"

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

Alcoholics drink alone... or with others!